Me

What's in a name? A rose by any other name, Smells just as sweet. What's on my mind? A blank space in any other place, Looks just as white. What's within my heart? Love freely given by anyone, Feels just as great.

Unrequited Questions

Where are you? Where have you been all my life? Where will you hide when you have run out of places? When the only haven is my heart. How far away are you? Can't you hear me calling out? Will you turn away everytime I try to catch your eye? For so long we've stayed apart. Do you wish to forget me? Do you choose to ignore my unspoken plea? Do you want to pretend you never knew me? Then I shall play my part. When shall the time come? When will you be wrapt in my arms? When will I be able to whisper those sweet nothings? And not be paid back with a dart. Who are you? How will I know when I finally find you? How will I ever tell you how much you mean to me? Ere I depart.

Since the last post...

Found at last: GTA - Vice City game. One of the guys in the hostel had a working copy of the game. Though not the complete game. This one just has the missions. No music. It feels like riding a bike at neckbreaking speed on a conveniently empty road on a glorious day with earplugs on. The joy of being able to marinate in the game is short-lived. No mind-boggling soundtrack that endeared Tommy Vercetti's world to me. A hollow victory for all the years of searching. Exams are 'round the corner. Once again. This time, the dark cloud of a CAT also looms overhead. Then there's the constant headache of a project dully echoing in the back of my head. A bleak immediate future for me and my blog. Mari gave me a copy of Photoshop CS4. "Damn good!", he says. I install it and as usual, no activation key. Photoshop seems to be destined to not be installed on my laptop for more than the trial period of a month. Puppy has to submit his lab records tomorrow. True to his self, he started on it today. Last I heard from him, he had 6 more print-outs to take. That was at 5 P.M. Last sunday, a whole bunch of us went on a cycling trek. Puppy, as usual, came on his bike, looking all cool and impressive with a bomber jacket on. It was a soggy, sorry excuse for a day, that one. I lost count of the number of times I got soaked. Rain kept beating down on us for all the 28 kms we cycled to reach our destination - T.K. Falls (don't bother asking for the full-form. I don't know myself). As a weight-reducing measure, my bicycle has no mudguards. By the time, we'd reached the waterfall, it looked to me like I was trying to make a fashion statement with my back, backpack and shorts looking like they were covered in leopard-print motifs. Two hours of being drenched under the waterfall and we headed back. We stopped at a dhaba for a really late lunch. Needless to say, we dredged up a 4-figure bill. Twelve hours since I'd left my room, I was back in. My clothes and backpack went straight into the washing machine. My water-logged shoes and myself went straight to the bathroom where I scrubbed the shoes and then myself. My body hurt in places I didn't know existed for the next 2 days. But it was worth it. I think. Perfect Melange had her first gig tonight. Her band played "64" club. I couldn't go. But I was there while they practised at least. I should ask her if they got booed off stage. I hope not. Perfect deserves a standing ovation. I clap after each performance and she thinks I'm being sarcastic. Silly girl! Oh, I think her band is called "The Inside Joke". I'm a man on a mission right now. Mission: Rip out parts of the audio in Southpark's "Whale Wars" episode and remaster them to get Eric Cartman's version of "Poker Face". Wish me luck.

Blast from the Past

Have you ever suddenly been given a whammy by someone or something triggering a lever that dredges past memories that have been buried, not because they were bad things that happened to you, but just because there's so many new things for your mind to process? If you have had this experience, you'll know exactly what I mean. A hundred scattered images and words that were spoken and others that were heard are all dug up by your suddenly efficient brain like some paleontologist after stegosauri bones. Then you begin thinking about all those days when you were young. You sigh, knowing those days are gone. They only exist in your memory in Technicolor detailing with high contrast. Gone are those school days when you used to commute by school van. Gone are those days when you'd try and shine your scruffy shoes by rubbing them against the back of your socked legs before the assembly on Monday mornings. Gone are those days when you'd lustily join in singing the morning prayer-song, albeit off-key. You still sing these days. The songs've changed. Your voice hasn't. Its still off-key. Then, you turn your mind to the characters. The ones who featured in your recently reintroduced memory. "Whatever happened to them?", you think. You realise you haven't heard about most of the characters in years. The yearning to know what became of them is overwhelming. You try a few messages and phone-calls to people you think would have kept in touch with them. You try a search on social networking sites. Mostly, you find them. And you get their phone numbers or add them as friends on your profile and promise to keep in touch. Though you both know it isn't going to happen forever. A few messages and emails later, the memory is again back where it belongs - under a thought about the Organization of the Russian Mafia and another about that new movie you just watched. Maybe even a thought about "What would have happened if Hitler didn't opt for a career-change from being an artist to a warmonger?" might put itself right on top of this particular memory and erase it from your mind. Until next time. When a new whammy comes your way. My brain happens to be very musical. I have my very own music player inbuilt in my brain. It plays music throughout the day. The music just keeps playing in the background. If I strain my ears hard enough and focus them inside my mind, I can hear the music all the time. My brain is smart. This I know because it creates playlists that suit my mood. There are happy songs and the disco variety when I'm being happy and hyperactive. There are slow, sad ones for when I'm depressed. And heavy metal to fuel my anger and vintage hard rock for when I'm being me and fully in control of myself - physically, mentally and emotionally. There music playing even while I'm writing exams. I've found out I turn in my best papers if there's Pink Floyd or Coldplay stuck in my head. So, its very reassuring to wake up on an exam morning and find "Comfortably Numb" echoing within the cranium. An hour ago, when I went down to Six's room so that we could go have dinner, I heard the musical strains of an oddly familiar song emanating from my old roommate Pogo's room. Like a man sleepwalking though a rather surreal dream, I walked into his room and sat enraptured by the song. The song behind this post. REO Speedwagon's "Keep on Loving You" - the song that was playing in my head during my first kiss.

Down with the Sickness

I hate being sick. I hate falling ill. That's just what's happened to me. It is so frustrating to be all dozy all day long and jerk awake suddenly and force open gummed-up eyes and feel like hell, not knowing what time of which day it is. For the last few days, its been me, my room and I. My body has been competing with my laptop in a game of "Who's hotter?" My appetite's all screwed-up and the physical weakness is, well, demoralising. I'm usually very in touch with my innate maleness and revel in "feats of machoness". The sickness takes away all that. Most of the day and night, I'm confined to bed, in a bid to conserve energy. The illness brings with it its perennial fan following of cough, runny-noses and constant headaches. All in all, this bout of fever has been my worst ever in a long time. Mom says I had German Measles as a really tiny kid but I have no memories of that. The fever has gone now. I thought maybe, that was that. Wrong. Enter: After-effects, stage left! After-effect #1 : A full-body rash. Itches like crazy. After-effect #2 : Appetite improved. But taste-buds gone on an extended vacation. After-effect #3 : Irritating desire to complain about everything under the sun and some that aren't. And I think I've gone deafer than usual. It really doesn't help that all these days have been holidays. At least, I'd have seen my friends otherwise. Somehow, the rash would've been better with Piggy fussing over me or Puppy taking my case about being spotty. If I continue, I'll continue complaining. Sometimes I disgust myself. So I'll stop now. A last word, all the best to The Nut Case and Sparks who have a big day ahead tomorrow!

My #1-234

Self explanatory post. After years of compilation and archiving. V presents:

1. Love Song - 311
2. (I ran so Far Away) - A Flock of Seagulls
3. Angel - Aerosmith
4. Lost in Love - Air Supply
5. Sweet Dreams - Air Supply
6. Speak Softly Love - Al Martino
7. Year of the Cat - Al Stewart
8. Silence & I - Alan Parsons Project
9. Ammonia Avenue - Alan Parsons Project
10. Old and Wise - Alan Parsons Project
11. Eye in the Sky - Alan Parsons Project
12. Poison - Alice Cooper
13. Man in the Box - Alice in Chains
14. In Memory of Elizabeth Reed - Allman Brothers Band
15. A Horse with No Name - America
16. We Are - Ana Johnsson
17. House of the Rising Sun - Animals
18. Don't let me be Misunderstood - Animals
19. I am the Highway - Audioslave
20. Like a Stone - Audioslave
21. How Deep is Your Love - Bee Gees
22. Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees
23. Rebel Yell - Billy Idol
24. Piano Man - Billy Joel
25. We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel
26. Atomic - Blondie
27. Maria - Blondie
28. (Don't Fear) the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
29. Eyes on Fire - Blue Oyster Cult
30. Astronomy - Blue Oyster Cult
31. Desolation Row - Bob Dylan
32. Blowin' in the Wind - Bob Dylan
33. Hurricane - Bob Dylan
34. Like a Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan
35. I Shot the Sheriff - Bob Marley & the Wailers
36. No Woman, No Cry - Bob Marley & the Wailers
37. Turn the Page - Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band
38. Bad Medicine - Bon Jovi
39. Livin' on a Prayer - Bon Jovi
40. You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi
41. Runaway - Bon Jovi
42. 1985 - Bowling for Soup
43. Dance with the Devil - Breaking Benjamin
44. Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin
45. Own Worst Enemy - Bruce Springsteen
46. Last to Die - Bruce Springsteen
47. Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams
48. Video Killed the Radio Star - Buggles
49. Yesterday Once More - Carpenters
50. Top of the World - Carpenters
51. Wild World - Cat Stevens
52. Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry
53. Clocks - Coldplay
54. Big Yellow Taxi - Counting Crows & Vanessa Carlton
55. God Shuffled His Feet - Crash Test Dummies
56. I Just Died in your Arms Tonight - Cutting Crew
57. We Can Be Heroes - David Bowie
58. Space Oddity - David Bowie
59. Yankee Rose - David Lee Roth
60. Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something
61. Photograph - Def Leppard
62. Hysteria - Def Leppard
63. Love Bites - Def Leppard
64. Layla - Derek & the Dominos
65. Listen to Your Heart - DHT & Edmee
66. Sultans of Swing - Dire Straits
67. Romeo & Juliet - Dire Straits
68. Brothers in Arms - Dire Straits
69. Your Latest Trick - Dire Straits
70. Land of Confusion - Disturbed
71. Alone Again - Dokken
72. Take it Easy - Eagles
73. Hotel California - Eagles
74. Society - Eddie Vedder
75. A Girl like You - Edwyn Collins
76. Can You Feel the Love Tonight - Elton John
77. Love Story - Engelbert Humperdinck
78. Knocking on Heaven's Door - Eric Clapton
79. Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton
80. Tragic Comic - Extreme
81. House of Pain - Faster Pussycat
82. Act like you know - Fat Larry's Band
83. All She Wrote - Firehouse
84. You're My Religion - Firehouse
85. Superman - Five for Fighting
86. The Chain - Fleetwood Mac
87. Cold - Fools Garden
88. Waiting for a Girl like You - Foreigner
89. Strangers in the Night - Frank Sinatra
90. Empty Rooms - Gary Moore
91. Adrenaline - Gavin Rossdale
92. Careless Whisper - George Michael
93. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
94. I Just Wanna Live - Good Charlotte
95. Estranged - Guns N' Roses
96. Paradise City - Guns N' Roses
97. Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns N' Roses
98. November Rain - Guns N' Roses
99. Wings of a Butterfly - H.I.M.
100. Cat's in the Cradle - Harry Chapin
101. Collide - Howie Day
102. Fear of the Dark - Iron Maiden
103. Hallowed Be Thy Name - Iron Maiden
104. The Nomad - Iron Maiden
105. Cocaine - J. J. Cale
106. Look What You've Done - Jet
107. All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix
108. Annie's Song - John Denver
109. Take Me Home (Country Roads) - John Denver
110. Working-class Hero - John Lennon
111. Imagine - John Lennon
112. Hurt - Johnny Cash
113. Open Arms - Journey
114. Take on the World - Judas Priest
115. Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs
116. Dust in the Wind - Kansas
117. Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins
118. Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carnes
119. Self Control - Laura Branigan
120. How do I Live Without You? - Leann Rhimes
121. Kashmir - Led Zeppelin
122. Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
123. The Battle of Evermore - Led Zeppelin
124. Steal My Sunshine - LEN
125. Ain't No Sunshine - Lighthouse Family
126. I'd Love You to Want Me - Lobo
127. Swingset Chain - Loquat
128. Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd
129. Free Bird - Lynyrd Skynyrd
130. Broken - Madonna
131. Warriors of the World - Manowar
132. Time - McAuley-Schenker Group
133. Symphony of Destruction - Megadeth
134. Land Downunder - Men At Work
135. Fade to Black - Metallica
136. Unforgiven 2 - Metallica
137. One - Metallica
138. Wherever I May Roam - Metallica
139. Beds are Burning - Midnight Oil
140. Nights in White Satin - Moody Blues
141. Home, Sweet Home - Motley Crue
142. Too Young to Fall in Love - Motley Crue
143. Broken Wings - Mr. Mister
144. Freewill - Mythiasin
145. Summer Wine - Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazelwood
146. Say it Right - Nelly Furtado
147. 7 Days to the Wolves - Nightwish
148. Come as you are - Nirvana
149. Smells like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
150. The Man Who Sold the World - Nirvana
151. (What's the Story) Morning Glory - Oasis
152. I Just Want You - Ozzy Osbourne
153. Shot in the Dark - Ozzy Osbourne
154. Bark at the Moon - Ozzy Osbourne
155. Floods - Pantera
156. The Music of the Night - Paul Potts
157. Jeremy - Pearl Jam
158. Dreaming of the Queen - Pet Shop Boys
159. Another Day in Paradise - Phil Collins
160. Something Happened on the Way to Heaven - Phil Collins
161. Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
162. High Hopes - Pink Floyd
163. Brain Damage - Pink Floyd
164. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
165. Carnival of Rust - Poets of the Fall
166. Every Rose has its Thorn - Poison
167. Lazarus - Porcupine Tree
168. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
169. We Will Rock You - Queen
170. Silent Lucidity - Queensryche
171. Come On, Feel the Noise - Quiet Riot
172. Nightswimming - R.E.M
173. At My Most Beautiful - R.E.M
174. Losing My Religion - R.E.M
175. Electron Blue - R.E.M
176. Temple of the King - Rainbow
177. Black Sheep of the Family - Rainbow
178. Engel - Rammstein
179. Sympathy for the Devil - Rolling Stones
180. Fading like a Flower - Roxette
181. Closer to the Heart - Rush
182. Wind of Change - Scorpions
183. Rock You like a Hurricane - Scorpions
184. Alien Nation - Scorpions
185. Broken - Seether & Amy Lee
186. Anarchy in the U.K. - Sex Pistols
187. The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel
188. Sound of Silence - Simon & Garfunkel
189. I am a Rock - Simon & Garfunkel
190. The Dangling Conversation - Simon & Garfunkel
191. El Condor Pasa - Simon & Garfunkel
192. Doomsday Clock - Smashing Pumpkins
193. Misery - Soul Asylum
194. Runaway Train - Soul Asylum
195. String of Pearls - Soul Asylum
196. We Built This City - Starship
197. Kid Charlemagne - Steely Dan
198. Born to be Wild - Steppenwolf
199. I Just Called to Say I Love You - Stevie Wonder
200. Shape of my Heart - Sting
201. Stray Cat Strut - Stray Cats
202. Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
203. Pale Shelter - Tears for Fears
204. Love Song - Tesla
205. Yesterday - The Beatles
206. While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles
207. Across the Universe - The Beatles
208. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - The Beatles
209. Twist and Shout - The Beatles
210. Honest Mistake - The Bravery
211. Jerk It Out - The Caesars
212. Wherever You Will Go - The Calling
213. Leave Me Breathless - The Corrs
214. Painted on my Heart - The Cult
215. Bohemian like you - The Dandy Warhols
216. Riders on the Storm - The Doors
217. Waiting for the Sun - The Doors
218. Smile like you Mean it - The Killers
219. Mr. Brightside - The Killers
220. Forever Lost - The Magic Numbers
221. The KKK Took My Baby Away - The Ramones
222. Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
223. Baba O' Riley - The Who
224. Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
225. Unbreak my Heart - Toni Braxton
226. I wanna Rock - Twisted Sister
227. Where the Streets have No Names - U2
228. Sunday, Bloody Sunday - U2
229. Girl, You'll be a Woman Soon - Urge Overkill
230. Jump - Van Halen
231. Heaven - Warrant
232. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus
233. Memories - Within Temptation
234. Judas - Yngwie Malmsteen

For MM

Here you go! Happy? And the font is not italicized. And I hope I'm still funny.

Star Wars : The Next Episode

Ripe time for a new post methinks. Methinks methinking a lot these days. Now if mesa only start replacing "me" with "mesa", mesathinks me could give Jar Jar Binks a run for his money or Empire Credits or whatever those floppy-eared, stalk-eyed, stick-legged, lizardlike, amphibious, God-you-talk-too-much, creatures use as money. I've been re-watching the Star Wars for the I-don't-know-I've-lost-count-th time. The thing is, there has always been something about the first 3 episodes that's always bugged me. I couldn't quite put my finger on it till finally, I realised, it was JAR JAR BINKS! I mean come on, what was the necessity of introducing such a character? Any species so stupid would have died out long before they could even evolve into sentient beings that could take control of a very earthlike, albeit marshy, planet! It goes against all known theories of evolution. Can you imagine how it would be if evolutionary deadends were given a second chance? We would all be ruled by dodos! We humans would be restricted to living in jungles or we'd have to take to the sewers and live among dodo poo or risk being caught and put in tiny 8X10 ft cells in zoos where dodo chicks would come and ogle at us and stick ice cream through the bars just to taunt us. Or worse, maybe the dodos would have evolved into really cruel dumb birds and would kill for sport; just for the heck of it. But you really can't deny it. George Lucas may have screwed up badly with the last installment of Indiana Jones, but he has given us the all-time greatest sci-fi saga. I have been hooked on to Star Wars ever since I was 12 years old. I still have the lightsaber toy, that has a thin, long filament that lights up when activated by a button, that my grandma brought for me from the US. It still lights up. I can't take it anymore! Have to watch Episode 5 again! Meanwhile, here's some good, sound advice - watch old seasons of The Simpsons. Read all the Asterix comics. And please comment. It doesn't matter what you say, even a "I read this post V" will do.

Of Sheep, Pigs, Dogs and FarmVille

Facebook! A drug. An addiction. What with all the sheep and the stupid, banal quizzes. Remind me to strangle Six slowly with my LAN cable sometime soon for reintroducing me to Facebook! I have shamelessly allowed myself to get hooked onto FarmVille on Facebook. So much so that I spend most of my time rescuing black sheep that are dumb enough to lose their way and end up in someone else's farm. PETA would shower me with honour and welcome me with open arms. Well, so you see, I've been on Facebook all this time. Which is why my blog has started stagnating. Sorry Blogspot! College's been good so far. Strange. Almost makes me paranoid. I'm not used to being treated well by mortal enemies. We don't have to worry about attendance in 3 subjects! And let me introduce you to one of our lecturers; for sake of anonymity, we will refer to him as Mr. Vicious. Vicious by name, vicious by nature. He made life hell for us for the past 2 years as he has done for all the budding engineers that have had to study under him. Not one batch of pass-outs have left college without gnashing their teeth at the mention of his dreaded name. It seems that muttered expletives and clenched fists that never reach their intended mark (Mr. Vicious amply visible double-chin) magically follow Mr. Vicious as he manages to somehow navigate his ponderous bulk along the long corridor of our department. Now all of a sudden, he announces in class that he will not be worrying us with attendance shortage warnings as long as we maintain 70%. Then he smiled! Not a leer or a sneer. A genuine smile that would have cracked any mirror within a two mile radius. That is when I decided to start being suspicious. "Ok V. This is not right. Something's fishy (Strange, 'cause I was pretty sure I smelt a rat). En garde!" said my brain firing synapses in overdrive as it tried to cope with the sudden change of heart Mr. Vicious seemed to have had. My lecturers and my department are starting to seriously scare me. They are being so lenient. Its not natural. Its like a bunch of hyenas ripping and tearing hungrily at a fresh kill suddenly stop and step aside so that a lowly jackal can share their repast. I will not be caught in this conspiracy! I declare that I will survive. The last man standing - me! Haha! That was the last laugh. I took Piggy shopping the other day. She dragged me along to every single dress shop on Commercial Street and made me wait while she tried on what seemed to me like every single dress the store had to offer. Then we went to Blossoms. I found "Wolverine : Origin" at last! Piggy actually bought it for me (Bless her)! Now I have a cool poster of Wolverine's bloody hand with claws just poking out of his skin on my wall. LHP happened sometime ago. I don't remember the date. But boy! Do I remember the day! We had fun. All of us except Piggy made it that day. I met the latest member of Spark's family. We got along so well that he even bit my hand. Caesar, as usual, slobbered all over me. Maggi let me pet her for 10 whole minutes! How cool is that?! Putty got a new friend - Squishee - who she managed to squash the very next day! A sort of AHP happened too. Not many turned up. Probably because a certain Mechy was there. I cycled all the way there. I was sweating and stinking by the time I reached there. But I went prepared and was able to take a bath at Hippo's watering hole. A PPP happened too, I think. Was it a PPP? Guys help me out. Anyway, we had fun. I've been having soup for dinner the last 2 weekends. Six and I have been going to Dragon Palace, a authentic Chinese restaurant run by 4 stinky Chinese brothers from Kolkata. Six feels right at home there. They give you a massive bowl filled with thick, steamy noodle soup for a very nominal price. A wholesome meal. I love it! I'm actually beginning to enjoy my classes these days. Is that normal? I'm afraid I'm going over to the dark side. Goodbye to all my friends! You've lost me. Time to go check on my wheat crop on my farm. Should be harvest time. Six! I kill you!

People are Real

While I was walking down the avenue,  
Watching the sun peep out from the sky so blue,  
Whistling appreciatively at the girls on the boardwalk,
Listening surreptitiously at the bystanders talk.
They were discussing the latest politics,
They were worried about the recession,
They mulled over play-offs and theatrics,  
They followed the game show to the point of an obsession.


I said to myself, People are strange,
People are weird,  
People are beings material, 
Forever unhappy, People are greedy,
They pretend to be needy,
People are just so real.


There he was with a bunch of flowers,  
There she was looking so divine,
He was trying to balance on one knee,  
She was racking her brains for a polite line,
He thrust the posy into her face,
She reached into her handbag for her Mace.
Into his eyes went the pepper spray,
He yelled as the aerosol began to sting,
Passersby turned to gaze, while,
In the distance, the church bells ring,  
The faithful were making amends,
I stood silently, watching love's end.


I said to myself, People are strange, 
People are weird, 
People are beings material, 
Forever unhappy, People are greedy, 
They pretend to be needy, 
People are just so real.

I walked into a grocery store,
Asked for change for a very large note,  
The grocer, he sadly shook his head,  
Replied in negative, it seemed by rote.
In came a woman in an overlarge coat,  
Clutching in her hand an even larger note,
I sniggered as she bought items of varied range,  
The ass behind the counter gave her the change!

I said to myself, People are strange, 
People are weird,  
People are beings material, 
Forever unhappy, People are greedy,  
They pretend to be needy,  
People are just so real.
As I was waiting at the bus-stop,  
There came a fat man driving a posh car,
He spotted a puddle and deliberately swerved,
Leaving me wet and with a mental scar.
 I cursed and I spat and I shook my fist,
An old lady next to me looked visibly aghast,
She moved away from me, her intentions clear,
What?! She wanted me to forget the past?!

 I said to myself, People are strange, 
People are weird, 
People are beings material,  
Forever unhappy, People are greedy, 
They pretend to be needy, 
People are just so real.

Confessions of a Fantastic Nature

2000 hours. Hit. "Paranoia! Fear! It's claustrophobia at its height!" Oval on black. Horizontal axis dividing light and dark. Light at the bottom, dark at the top. The picture keeps refreshing. Seen through an oval computer screen. Each picture comes whooshing towards you. Then its past you. Replaced by the next picture. Headlight throwing cobblestones in stark relief. Cold air killing facial skin to a point of numbness where you no longer concern yourself with it. Around the edges of the oval lurk trees and bushes. Painted murky brown-green in colour. Menacing branches swaying gently in the night breeze. "I have never applied so much brakes in my life!" "Slow down! Slow down some more! We're reaching traffic!" "Shut up!" ******************************************************** Computer screen. Rectangle. Is it a CAD software? Loaded. Perfect geometry. Amazing. Pillar? X, Y & Z axes. Ovals still refuse to go away. Familiar. Comforting. Somewhat. Oval on rectangle screen. Surrounded by blackness. In pixellated form. Each time you turn your head, the old picture changes. Blending into a new one. 3 dimensional geometry. So unappreciated. Nothing remarkable. Everything you see accords equal importance. The universe has no favourites. ******************************************************** Scared. People stare. Traffic moves ever closer. Walking on the streets is dangerous. Are you acting weird? Is he staring? "He's not bothered! He's living his own life!" "You're actually normal!" "Come to the side! Stop walking in the middle!" Hysteria. ********************************************************

The Dangling Conversation

This is, without a doubt, my most favourite bit of poetry.


It's a still life water color,  
Of a now late afternoon,  
As the sun shines through the curtained lace,
And shadows wash the room.
And we sit and drink our coffee,  
Couched in our indifference,
Like shells upon the shore,  
You can hear the ocean roar.
In the dangling conversation,
And the superficial sighs,
The borders of our lives.


And you read your Emily Dickinson,  
And I my Robert Frost,  
And we note our place with book-markers,  
That measure what we've lost.
Like a poem poorly written,  
We are verses out of rhythm,  
Couplets out of rhyme,
In syncopated time.
Lost in the dangling conversation,
And the superficial sighs,  
Are the borders of our lives.  

Yes, we speak of things that matter,
With words that must be said,  
"Can analysis be worthwhile?"  
"Is the theater really dead?"  
And how the room is softly faded,  
And I only kiss your shadow,  
I cannot feel your hand,  
You're a stranger now unto me.  
Lost in the dangling conversation,  
And the superficial sighs,
In the borders of our lives.

--- Paul Simon

Sequel to the Quell

...And I found a way...

Not Again!!

NONONONONO!!!!!

 

The stupid @#%^!!

The bloody hell-bent &*5%@!!!

*^$# @%% it all!!!

 

They've done it again! The useless, interfering dumbasses that run the college internet from the Datacentre have blocked my blog again. This time its not for use of "Banned words", instead its been listed under "Personal websites"! Well, of course, its a personal website! So what?! 

  

I CAN'T ACCESS MY BLOG!!!!!

GAH!!

BAH!!

and BLAH!!

 

I shall find a way...

What's been going on

{This post has been delayed by two days}

 

     At last! At long bloody last! I'm back. From the looks of it, it doesn't seem anyone has missed me at all. I'm willing to give the whole lot of you the benefit of doubt and assume that you were all busy with exams and travel and stuff. Though not all of you fit in that category. Nevermind. I feel benevolent. So get commenting before I feel beneviolent. Comment and then read this post just to be on the safer side.

     Yet again I experience the loneliness of being alone. Stuck in an empty room where nothing moves. Where heavy curtains drawn across the windows filter the sunlight and allow in only pale shadows of the magnificent rays. Where muted silhouettes play with your mind forming intricate patterns to the tune of "Ode to Joy". Where all you have for company are your books and the five thousand-odd mp3 files you have saved on your laptop. Yes, you guessed it. Its holidays. And I'm stuck in the hostel once more.

    Not that I'm all friendless and all. Puppy's been coming to college everyday and has been giving me front row performances of his stand-up comedy. Problem being I know what he's going to say most of the time (Give handle!). Perfect Melange turned up last two days looking extremely Putty-like. Little does she realise what a joy it is to have her around. Beachball finally told me what she was doing with Minimum (Guess who!). Turns out Beachball's all deflated with a cold. Piggy's been coming to college everyday with her Mental Foundation work. Mari's been coming everyday but NOT to see me if you get my drift. <I wiggle my eyebrows up and down a couple of times> Dog-killer'll come and go. 
   

     We had some fun a couple of days ago with Puppy, Dog-killer, Hippo, Shimmery (Guess why!), Defect, Perfect & me deciding to go out for lunch and then wasting the rest of the day in Red Garden. Sparks & Six both had their own set of friends to meet so they didn't join us. Mari went across state just to get a haircut. Figure & Bis had an exam yesterday. So, we were down to seven. Piggy did join us for coffee in the evening. She scared me a bit by sending me a sms that wasn't meant for me. 
  

     I've been downloading movies like crazy. Been watching around 3 movies per day. Guess I'm making up for all the missed movies last month. 
  

    Well, this is what I've been doing since the 4th of this month. Now I've got to go take a bath and then its off to the bank.

Keeping Up with the Times

Hear me, all ye faithful! Verily I say to thee - this be the last post upon my blog 'til I have returned with the spoils of battle, with honour and glory, after having done battle with the mighty dragon (semester exams). I was thinking of drawing up a time table to follow till the exams begin. So could study according to it. So I can cover all the topics that way. Not happening. Because all this thinking about time got me thinking. What if I could play with time? I mean its not fair! We're allowed to play with certain things - like madness, for instance; but we're not allowed to play with time. Cheap, is the creator! Well, he's actually being pricey (I stole your line, Piggy! And I'm not sorry!). He keeps the best playthings to himself. Nobody taught him to share or what?! And he tells us to share and be good. Now, time. Its a concept that takes some imagination. A lot of it. Just imagine, while I'm here typing this at 0923 hours on the 19th of May, 2009; its still 18th of May, 2009 elsewhere. And in Japan, its past 1000 hours on the 19th of May, 2009. Japan is living the future! And U.S. of A is actually living the past! He he! I know that thought is wrong, but it puts a smile on my face anyway. But this whole thing of Japan being the first to herald a new day is only because we have it at the eastern end of our maps. What if we had Central Europe & Africa at the eastern end and Asia at the western end? We could have the sun rising over Prague instead. Hey! We'd be the Western Civilisation! Ha ha! I'd like to see Muthalik talk about Western Culture then! See? Its all in the head. We don't have to worry about the future. If anything extraordinary happens, like the Armageddon, for instance, the Japanese will see it first and warn us. Absolutely no worries. Hmm. So I can actually live here in the future and take a plane westwards so I'll be travelling back in time and so I'll know what happens in the future and I can use this knowledge to "predict" the future and make a pile of cash in euros or dollars and come back to India and convert them to rupees and be a millionaire! "Nice daydream", my scientific side says scathingly and bursts my little balloon. Well, the balloon wasn't so little and it was getting bigger. Positively bloating up. Like my tummy. Time for some exercise.

Vent

PEOPLE ARE STUPID!

(Except Putty, Piggy, Dog-killer & Rush)

Love Story

Where do I begin? To tell the story of how great a love can be, 
The sweet love story that is older than the sea, 
The simple truth about the love she brings to me,

Where do I start? With her first hello, 

She gave new meaning to this empty world of mine, 

There'd never be another love, another time, 

She came into my life and made the living fine.

She fills my heart, She fills my heart with very special things, 

With angels' songs , with wild imaginings, 

She fills my soul with so much love, 

That anywhere I go I'm never lonely, 

With her around, who could be lonely, 

I reach for her hand-it's always there.

How long does it last? Can love be measured by the hours in a day? 

I have no answers now but this much I can say, 

I know I'll need her till the stars all burn away, 

And she'll be there.

--------Francis Lai

Nights in White Satin

Nights in white satin, 
Never reaching the end, 
Letters I've written, 
Never meaning to send.
 
Beauty I'd always missed, 
With these eyes before, 
Just what the truth is, 
I can't say anymore.
'Cause I love you, yes I love you, 
Oh how I love you.

Gazing at people, 
Some hand in hand, 
Just what I'm going through, 
They can't understand. 

Some try to tell me, 
Thoughts they cannot defend, 
Just what you want to be, 
You'll be in the end. 

And I love you, yes I love you, 
Oh how I love you, oh how I love you. 

Nights in white satin, 
Never reaching the end, 
Letters I've written, 
Never meaning to send. 

Beauty I'd always missed, 
With these eyes before, 
Just what the truth is, 
I can't say anymore. 

'Cause I love you, yes I love you, 
Oh how I love you, oh how I love you. 
'Cause I love you, yes I love you, 
Oh how I love you, oh how I love you. 

Breath deep, 
The gathering gloom, 
Watch lights fade, 
From every room, 
Bedsitter people, 
Look back and lament, 
Another day's useless, 
Energy spent. 

Impassioned lovers, 
Wrestle as one, 
Lonely man cries for love, 
And has none, 
New mother picks up, 
And suckles her son, 
Senior citizens, 
Wish they were young. 

Cold-hearted orb, 
That rules the night, 
Removes the colours, 
From our sight, 
Red is gray, 
And yellow white, 
But we decide, 
Which is right. 

And which is an Illusion.

-Moody Blues.

Annie's Song

You fill up my senses, 
Like a night in a forest, 
Like the mountains in springtime, 
Like a walk in the rain, 
Like a storm in the desert, 
Like a sleepy blue ocean, 
You fill up my senses, 
Come fill me again. 

Come let me love you, 
Let me give my life to you, 
Let me drown in your laughter, 
Let me die in your arms, 
Let me lay down beside you, 
Let me always be with you, 
Come let me love you, 
Come love me again. 
Let me give my life to you, 
Come let me love you, 
Come love me again, 

--- John Denver

Utsav '09 - What we did

[The poster above was designed by DC Rocks, who happens to be Captain Gorgeous' boss in all matters digital].

Utsav came and went (for those of you poor souls that aren't in my college, Utsav is the annual college fest. Held for 3 days in April). This year, it happened on the 9th, 10th & 11th of April. The whole lot of us (except Piggy, who was in Chennai for Easter) spent a whole lot of time in and around college - working! [This armband was designed by Captain Gorgeous and me for all the General Purpose Volunteers. Needless to say, they were a big hit. The armbands and the volunteers]

On the Utsav days, Puppy worked as the Main Stage Coordinator. Captain Gorgeous was busy with the Design Team (he didn't have any hand with the Utsav T-shirts. So don't blame him for that fiasco). I was in-charge of Database for the entire fest. My job is to basically maintain a record of every single participant in Utsav '09. Pretty big job with very big work to do. I never managed to sleep for more than 4 hours that entire week. Then, we had this huge logistics mix up on the 10th which meant we didn't have any tickets to sell when there was this whole huge crowd clamouring to buy them. Then, the microphone conked out and I ended up screaming (instructions to participants about where to go when for which event) myself hoarse for an hour and a half until they could fix it. Six lost his cellphone sometime in between and we spent a long time searching for it. A security guard found it and handed it back. The whole database team had to work overtime and they came out with flying colours. I sound like a coach or a captain talking about his team but I just can't seem to make it sound any other way (believe me. I tried. This is the 5th time I backspaced about 3 sentences). So, this is the way it stays. A standing ovation to my team! The fest done, I slept half the Sunday. And now, I have a whole lot of souvenirs in the form of used-ticket counterfoils.

The Grimm Truth

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away... Someone once told me, not long ago, that that was how all good stories began. True, I guess, since most of what we classify under "Fairy tales" begin like that. And I haven't heard better stories than those. Those childhood nights when we used to get tucked into bed and our parents used to read us stories from books that had larger pictures than paragraphs. Still vivid in my head. My dad used to tell the most wonderful tales that were passed down through the ages in the village that is our hometown. I used to make him tell me one particular story about "Chatapattaraaya" every single night. The way he narrated it ensured I never tired of it. I wish I could still ask him to do it sometimes. Maybe I will. Next time I go home. Just for old times' sake. It's all fine. They make great stories. Excellent material to put little children to sleep. Sooner or later, we outgrow the age and lose interest. But what if we decided to listen to them again? Like I said, just for old times' sake. Do you realise that we'd find them so incomplete? Now that our minds have been corrupted by education? Take, for example, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Now these guys, the midgets, are just guys with a hormonal disorder. But, if they were brothers, well, there must have been some heavy intermarriage among their ancestors to produce seven prodigy with the same physical deformity. Why doesn't the tale give an explanation? What about the poisoned apple? Quite obviously, the wicked queen used a really potent sleeping drug. Now, it'd be really cool if we knew which one. We could put it to good use among the teachers at college. And the magic mirror? The queen must have used CCTVs in every house in the kingdom and had a monitor connected to a wifi server. Easy. There goes the charm of the story. Okay, Snow White is sleeping deeply. Snoring, maybe. Spare a thought for all the princes who tried their luck before her true love came along. All the princes had to kiss her. I don't think the dwarves bathed her for all the months she lay slumbering. The princes must have gagged when they neared her. I don't think anyone thought to brush her teeth regularly. By the time Mr. Luckyguy got there, she must have been a bacterial haven. The tale doesn't tell us if he caught a cold immediately after kissing her. What about Cinderella? She must have had really weird feet if her slippers didn't fit anyone else. Maybe she had crow's feet (on her face). Pity, the story was set long, long ago. If it had happened recently, Cinderella could have sued her step-mom and her step-sisters for slavery and cruelty. And the ugly step-sisters would have won lifetime coupons at VLCC's. Did Cinderella get into trouble for plucking a pumpkin from the kitchen garden? If she managed to find mice in the house, it doesn't speak highly of her housekeeping skills. Don't even get me started on talking wolves! What's with them? I mean, it's really alright if pigs and wolves talk to each other. But wolves talking with humans?! And bears too! Bears eating at tables and eating porridge! Come on! Pappa bears and mamma bears never live together. Bears mate. Males go away. Females give birth, usually, while in hibernation, and then protect the cubs for a couple of years while teaching them how to fend for themselves. That's it! End of story. Goldielocks is one heck of a fibber. Little Red Riding Hood - what a name! It describes her clothes. It's not a friggin' name people! Unless... she was black. Maybe she was one of those rapper kinds that live on a steady diet of hip hop. Then, it makes sense. She was a Hood. And rode a lot. And wore red. No comments. But what bothers me is that she couldn't realise that it wasn't her grandma in bed. Come on, there's a limit to the amount of facial hair a grandmother can grow. What about the Frog-turned-into-a-prince guy? He must have known a really good plastic surgeon. A doctor like that can make millions if he moved to Hollywood. I'm sure Harrison Ford is keen on making another crappy Indiana Jones movie. He'll want to look convincing. Else, there's always Sylvester Stallone and the Rocky series. The thing that bothers me most is the ending. The prince and princess kiss. "And they lived happily ever after." That's it? They kiss and that keeps them happy for the rest of their lives? We know now there's more to this than meets the eye. What happened after the kiss? The End?