Wearing Your Mood

      "Right now, I feel like my stubble.", I said to The Nut Case today.

   I don't feel like growing a stubble or something. I just feel like the short, prickly carpet of hair adorning my lower jaw. Like my entire being - soul and all - is confined in it.

    Weirdo - You might label me. Let me explain. In my own abstract way. Using disconnected thoughts that spring up in my head. Each firing separate neurons with tiny sparks of electricity. Right now, its a veritable electrical storm in my brain. Poor thing's getting fried.

     Have you ever thought about it? How your clothes and your physical appearance, in general is an unconscious reflection of your mental state. Your mood is what you wear. If you're all happy and jumpy, you're looking properly groomed. Laundered clothes. Maybe even an occasional ironed shirt. If you're down in the dumps, you're clothes are just the opposite. You neglect to check your appearance. If you're feeling sunny, you dress like one. Maybe even accesorise with a wide smile. Confidence shows when you're in bright clothes or in the more subtle power dressing mode. Certain people even reach a stage I call - The Nothing Can Go Wrong Stage. I'm in this stage when I'm wearing the most outrageous combinations. My favourite happens to be a pair of jeans I bought when I was in the 7th standard. These jeans have been washed and sun-dried so many times that they are faded to a point where they can't fade anymore. I outgrew them a long time ago. So I improvised and chopped them at what used to shin-level back then. Today, they look like a pair of weird shorts that reach about 3 inches below knee-level with frayed ends that provide a fringe benefit for improving the whole look (Most would not agree with me. Don't believe them. If you've seen me in them, don't believe your eyes. Repeat after me - V, you look good in them!).

    Nowadays, I really don't like my mood. I'm mostly feeling empty and listless. Nothing seems really enjoyable. Not even friends. Thing is, if I sit down and think hard enough, I may be able to find out why. But, I'm in no mood for that too. That isn't how I do things. I prefer letting the answer come to me. That way, it won't strike me until I'm ready for it. I guess I'm stuck with being like this for sometime. These days, I go for the unkempt look with a scary regularity. Hair combed, but arranged so that it gives a complete wind-blown disarrayed look. Clothes are invariably jeans and t-shirts (both don't need any ironing). My face has a stubble. I usually am cleanshaven. But right now, I feel like keeping the stubble. It reflects exactly how I feel on the inside. A slump of the shoulders accentuates my mood.

    Time for dinner. I'm hungry. That doesn't change whatever my mood. I'm me again.