In Stasis.

    It's been quite some time since I last made an effort over a post. One thing happened after another. Life, it seems, has a very personal grudge on me. It has been throwing everything at me (yesterday, I got hit by a genuine ceramic kitchen sink!). It all started off with the Trial of Fire. That Ring of Death they call the semester exams. Semester exams sounds so unassuming. You might think, "What's the big deal? Study for a week before the exam. Go to the exam hall, find your seat, answer the paper for 3 hours and come out all happy.". If this is what you were thinking... You poor delusional fool!  Come to think of it, the exams went better than I expected. Except for the very last paper (on New Year's Eve, that too!), which I'm pretty sure I'm on the borderline (I'm making a big deal out of this because this happens to be my first time at the Nailbiters Arena). 

  Well, since then, actually since a week or so before the exams began, things have been going steadily downhill. I know how Nero felt. I feel compelled to play the fiddle too while my empire burns. It's a weird sensation, you know? One moment, your whole life as you know it is completely in your control. And the next moment. The very next second, you lose equilibrium. The house of playing cards that you so carefully built up has been blown away by just a tiny draft of air blowing from between the door and the floor. Its rather like watching a satire from the balcony. You have the best seat in the theatre but you already know the story of the play.

   It's the holidays now and I'm still stuck in a half-empty hostel because I have CAT classes (twice a week. Right now, 4 times a week. To make up for the classes we missed while we studied for our disastrous semester exams). It gets pretty boring out here where Loneliness is your only friend. If not for Bob and my music collection, I'd be questioning my own sanity (it has been under a microscope before. But always has been examined by others).

   The root cause for my frustration happens to stem from the fact that I can no longer open blogs anywhere in the campus (thanks to the moral policing of our Hostel Trust Secretary, who has installed a very efficient, make that exasperatingly efficient, netguard that blocks any website it deems uneducational). Result - I've been gaining a lot of general knowledge as wikipedia is effectively the only website I can open leaving out google.com and gmail. I feel cut off from the outside world. Stranded. Marooned in a seven floor island.

    Thanks to Piggy and Puppy and PerfectMelange and The NutCase and Dog-Killer who have been absolutely solid these last few days. Thanks guys. I needed you.

    This is my apparently strong facade crumbling. Watch it. It won't last long. Wallowing in self pity (or anyone else's pity for that matter) isn't something I do well.

 

   Here I go, turn the page.