The How of Who

There was a time when time had just begun, When men lived in caves and hated the sun, Of fire, the ape-men had no earthly clue, The time of the end of the one they called Who.

When cats played at being Roman Emperors,

And dexterously plucked at the fiddle,

When the overlarge egg sat on the hedge,

And fell down and broke in the middle,

When a goat was still a satyr and a horse was a centaur,

When Hercules was still task-less and free,

When Odysseus was still standing beside dear Mentor,

Then was the time for Who's soul to flee.

When pies were still baked with blackbirds inside them,

And cows frequently hurdled the moon,

When Little Tommy Tucker still couldn't get a meal,

And the dish eloped with the spoon,

When Little Miss Muffet had no arachnophobia,

When Jack & Jill were trekking uphill,

When the Gollum was filling his belly with cobia,

Then was the time to read out Who's will.

When Cinderella was still sweeping up cobwebs,

And Rapunzel shampooed her hair,

When Snow White was still mollycoddled by dwarfs,

And Goldielocks was in the bears' lair,

When demigods were a-dime-a-dozen,

When Icarus was testing his wings,

When Atlas grew tired and shrugged off his burden,

Then was the time to bury Who's things.

When Hannibal's elephants took a walk up the Alps,

And Caesar waxed eloquently,

When caterpillars still sat and smoked on toadstools,

And all Hatters were mad, as mad as can be,

When the forty thieves were saying "Open Sesame",

When Troy was at the height of its fame,

When Aesop was fibbing and calling them fables,

Then was the time to cry out Who's name.

Then they planted an acorn in the dell,

And the oak tree magnificently grew,

Then they dropped the coffin six feet under,

And they all danced on the how of the one they called "Who".