With small peaks of hope and great valleys of despair,
Fate is a miser and Life, unfair.
Long is the journey ere an apex is reached,
Even delicate flowers must bloom after winter's breached.
Grudge not the blessed, for they are strong of heart,
For Destiny rewards us if only we play our part.
For those that have it easy and have their places under the sun,
Have earned their places for their work is done.
October 23, 2013
October 07, 2013
Where are the Horses and where are the men?
What makes a man? Barney Stinson would say "Suits!" - on many levels, he would be right. Ever since human beings developed sentience and civil society with its philosophers, humankind has tried to answer the question. Our consciences, when not hushed by our penchant for greed and fallibility, tell us the answer is doing good to and by our fellow men, having mutual respect and helping anyone in need. In time, those that listened to the tiny guy on their left shoulders with the halo on his head more often than they did the tiny guy on their right shoulders with the horns on his began to be grouped and associated the closest things to the answer. They were the ladies and the gentlemen. Over time, like all good things, the concept of being ladies & gentlemen was bastardized to mean men and women of noble birth and not noble deed, and later, to mean all and sundry in the name of equality. Men and women are created equal - ladies and gentlemen are a cut above the rest in both thought and action.
I read an article on the internet today. It argued that social interaction between the sexes had been reduced to online video chats and social networking. That women around the world were reducing their expectations in a man. The article concluded that the reason for the whole mess was that men aren't really "men" anymore, that the well-dressed, courteous gentleman was a thing of the past.
Its not a man's job to carry society on his shoulders - that's just disguised male chauvinism talking. However, it is true that the quality of men in general is deteriorating. Guys these days aren't worried about what they should say to a woman - wooing has been reduced to mindless prancing in clubs. While dancing is a part of the mating ritual of several animals - I would like to believe that people think more of having a connection with someone than just grinding against each other in a sweaty, smoke-filled, dim-lit place with drunken people. Call me old-fashioned but I think a good conversation is where you really connect with people - similar interests are fine, but they don't guarantee quality. Besides, where's the show of respect that is the right of another human being? Take these hip hop recording artists these days - women are no longer referred to as ladies - they are "bitches". Their music videos reduce women to objects that are treated like possessions. In the name of equality, people have forgotten courtesy and basic decency. I personally know some girls who take severe offence at my insistence on holding a door open for them. Its just good manners - Its not like I think they are incapable of understanding the operating concept of a hinged door. I'm giving them the respect they deserve as the opposite (Note: I don't say "fairer". I'm all for gender equality) sex.
To make the counterpoint - maybe the ladies and gentlemen are not an extinct species. Since the dawn of civilization, they have been associated with certain generalized cut of society. In medieval Europe, they were the mounted knights and the women of the families of the Lords and land-owners. A century ago, they were well-educated men in top hats and women in puffy gowns. During the early years of the 20th Century, they were the pseudo-philosophers and "men and women of leisure" who traveled the world and always seemed to be well-groomed. Maybe today, the ladies and gentlemen are still there - only less bothered with three-piece suits and ball gowns. Maybe today's ladies and gentlemen prefer jeans and t-shirts, hang out in malls and play video games.
I feel civility, mutual respect and giving aid remain as important as they ever were and will continue to be so - failure of which would sound the clarion for the end of humanity. Since we still continue to have faith in society and civilization, ladies and gentlemen, as per my definition, do exist. They exist in those that have a kind word for those of wounded heart or pride. They exist in those that volunteer at homeless shelters, old-age homes and orphanages on a regular basis. They exist in those that donate blood and organs. They exist in those that show the spirit of sportsmanship. They exist in those that simply manage a smile at a stranger on a Monday morning.
There's an organization called the Gentleman's Society. They have, on their website the following ( I think, very valid) Rules of a Gentleman:
I read an article on the internet today. It argued that social interaction between the sexes had been reduced to online video chats and social networking. That women around the world were reducing their expectations in a man. The article concluded that the reason for the whole mess was that men aren't really "men" anymore, that the well-dressed, courteous gentleman was a thing of the past.
Its not a man's job to carry society on his shoulders - that's just disguised male chauvinism talking. However, it is true that the quality of men in general is deteriorating. Guys these days aren't worried about what they should say to a woman - wooing has been reduced to mindless prancing in clubs. While dancing is a part of the mating ritual of several animals - I would like to believe that people think more of having a connection with someone than just grinding against each other in a sweaty, smoke-filled, dim-lit place with drunken people. Call me old-fashioned but I think a good conversation is where you really connect with people - similar interests are fine, but they don't guarantee quality. Besides, where's the show of respect that is the right of another human being? Take these hip hop recording artists these days - women are no longer referred to as ladies - they are "bitches". Their music videos reduce women to objects that are treated like possessions. In the name of equality, people have forgotten courtesy and basic decency. I personally know some girls who take severe offence at my insistence on holding a door open for them. Its just good manners - Its not like I think they are incapable of understanding the operating concept of a hinged door. I'm giving them the respect they deserve as the opposite (Note: I don't say "fairer". I'm all for gender equality) sex.
To make the counterpoint - maybe the ladies and gentlemen are not an extinct species. Since the dawn of civilization, they have been associated with certain generalized cut of society. In medieval Europe, they were the mounted knights and the women of the families of the Lords and land-owners. A century ago, they were well-educated men in top hats and women in puffy gowns. During the early years of the 20th Century, they were the pseudo-philosophers and "men and women of leisure" who traveled the world and always seemed to be well-groomed. Maybe today, the ladies and gentlemen are still there - only less bothered with three-piece suits and ball gowns. Maybe today's ladies and gentlemen prefer jeans and t-shirts, hang out in malls and play video games.
I feel civility, mutual respect and giving aid remain as important as they ever were and will continue to be so - failure of which would sound the clarion for the end of humanity. Since we still continue to have faith in society and civilization, ladies and gentlemen, as per my definition, do exist. They exist in those that have a kind word for those of wounded heart or pride. They exist in those that volunteer at homeless shelters, old-age homes and orphanages on a regular basis. They exist in those that donate blood and organs. They exist in those that show the spirit of sportsmanship. They exist in those that simply manage a smile at a stranger on a Monday morning.
There's an organization called the Gentleman's Society. They have, on their website the following ( I think, very valid) Rules of a Gentleman:
- A gentleman is always presentable
- Live a passionate life, with a compassionate nature, and dispassionate judgement
- Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-give. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.
- Opening the door for a lady is not optional.
- A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.
- Nothing beats a good hat, so long as it is removed when indoors.
- Anything worth having, is worth working hard for.
- A gentleman will never instigate a fight, but he is permitted to end one.
- A gentleman reads and reflects.
- The best suits are tailored (ties should never be a focal point).
- A gentleman means what he says, and says what he means.
- Be gracious in manner, humble in tone, and thankful for what is given.
- A gentleman lives beyond his zone of comfort.
- The line between confidence and arrogance is very thin, and a gentleman is aware of it.
- Drinks are not meant to be mixed.
- A gentleman can drive stick-shift.
- A gentleman can jump if need be.
- Know the differences between courage and stupidity.
- A gentleman is observant, and takes action without delay.
- To a lady, a gentleman will readily offer both his coat and his hand.
It has always been my ambition to be a life-long gentleman and I strive to be one everyday. Of course, some things won't happen - me wearing a hat, for example - but I hope people will still consider me eligible to be a gentleman. A couple of years ago, I had an epiphany - that I have a way of life, a personal motto that defines my existence: "Nobilitas, Logica et Epicurismo."
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