10 Things That MUST be Done

1) Look out a aeroplane window and see a snow-white blanket of clouds in the morning sun. 2) Parasail off the Aguada Fort cliffs in Goa. 3) Ride a big 350cc bike on a long trip wearing Aviators. 4) Go for an open-air rock concert - stoned. 5) Sit on a swing in the back-porch with a book and a cup of hot coffee and smell the rain wetting the soil. 6) Watch the sunset on a beach while eating boiled corn. 7) Hitchhike on the back of a truck on the highway. 8) Tell the lecturer that you hated the most that you hated him/her. 9) Climb up and sit on top of a high water tower at twilight and be all philosophical. 10)Sing a love song outside a girl's window.

Sat(ire)

Satire - what an excellent concept of disguising the author's extreme dislike for anyone or anything and calling it "wit" and "humor". Satire, in all its grandeur, with all its irony, sarcasm, parody, juxtaposition and double entendre provides food for thought unlike any other form of literature because, in a way, the author is actually accepting as true, the very thing he is attacking (thus proving the pen mightier than the proverbial sword. Not true, however, in the case of the Gordian Knot. I don't see how a pen would have helped Alexander). Satire was extremely popular back in ancient Rome where caustic literary figures like Horace and Juvenal kept the flag of militant irony flying high (even as Nero fiddled. What with you may ask). The great tradition was continued by the eminently capable Charlie Chaplain et al (et al being George Orwell, Mark Twain and maybe Daniel Defoe). Jonathan Swift was a giant at sarcasm (literally!). Sadly, today's world is almost completely bereft of classy humor. What with all the sentiments being hurt and all the extreme laws, we'd be lucky if they don't color-code the colors in a set of crayons fearing it to be racial. If it weren't for The Simpsons, Mad magazine and Weird Al Yankovitch, I don't know how I would survive (No. Don't answer. The question was rhetorical). The quintessential all-american, middle-class family drama is the embodiment of sarcasm. While for a less polished audience, there's always South Park (Doh!). I grew up reading Mad. Even before I learnt to read, I would just look at the pictures in the really old issues my dad had managed to salvage as relics from his days as a bachelor boy. Don Martin has always been my favorite at satirical comics. His infinitely expressive caricatures have always held a great fascination for me. As the years passed, artists died, Mad went from black & white to full color and most of their jokes also died. But I still buy a copy of Mad whenever I come across one just so that I can read the latest Mad Movie Satire and the Movie Out-takes. Weird Al Yankovitch has an admirable cranium. He takes the fine art of parody-making to a new level. Sample this: WE'RE ALL GAY (Sung to the tune of Backstreet Boys' "I want it that way") We are on fire, We have desires, But one is that way, One Backstreet Boy is gay. But we don't want to be mean, Since now he's a queen, Don't ask me, Which Backstreet Boy is gay? Tell me who? Ain't sayin' that its A.J., Tell me who? Ain't sayin' that its Howie, Tell me who? I never wanna hear you say, Which Backstreet Boy is gay? Now I can see him, He's in women's clothes, But he don't need an I.U.D., Yeah.He likes village people, He's playing croquet, His dog is a pekingese. He is on fire, His back perspires, Won't say, won't say,Who's gay! He's always saying- Ain't nothin' but a butt-ache, Ain't nothin' but a fruitcake, I never wanna hear you say, Which one of us is gay! Tell me who? Ain't sayin' that its Brian, Tell me who? Ain't sayin' Nick or Kevin, He's pickin' up a souffle, Which Backstreet Boy is gay? Ok, we're all gay! EAT IT (Sung to the tune of Michael Jackson's "Beat It") How come you're always such a fussy young man? Don't want no Captain Crush, don't want no Raisin Bran, Well don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan, So eat it! Just eat it! Don't want to argue, I don't want a debate, Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate, You won't get no dessert 'til you clean off your plate, So eat it! Don't you tell me you're full! Just eat it! Eat it!Eat it! Eat it! Get yourself an egg and beat it! Have some more chicken, have some more pie, It doesn't matter if its boiled or fried, Just eat it! Eat it! Just eat it! Eat it! Your table-manners are a crying shame, You're playing with your food, this ain't some kind of game, Now if you starve to death you'll just have yourself to blame, So eat it!Just eat it! You better listen, better do what you're told, You haven't even touched your tuna casserole, You better chow down or its gonna get cold, So eat it! I don't care if you're full! Just eat it! Eat it!Eat it! Eat it! Open up your mouth and feed it! Have some more yoghurt, have some more spam, It doesn't matter if its fresh or canned, Just eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Don't you make me repeat it! Have a banana, have a whole bunch, It doesn't matter what you had for lunch, Just eat it! Eat it!Eat it! Eat it!Eat it!Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! If its getting cold, reheat it! Have a big dinner, have a light snack, If you don't like it, you can't send it back, Just eat it! Eat it!Eat it! Get yourself an egg and beat it! Have some more chicken, have some more pie, It doesn't matter if its boiled or fried, Just eat it! Eat it!Eat it! Don't you make me repeat it! Have a banana, have a whole bunch, It doesn't matter what you had for lunch, Just eat it! Eat it!Eat it! Eat it!Eat it!Eat it! Eat it! If it weren't for this handful of brave men (and women. There's all this stuff and nonsense on women's lib and all. I'm no chauvinist. As far as I'm concerned women should be treated better than men. After all, what use is my fellow-man to me), our lives (sounds much better than putting in "my life") would've been all txtng and mind-numbing reality shows. As Wayne and Garth once put it, "Ssschhwiiinnngg! We salute you!" I must make a mention of a certain Sir Terry Pratchett whose works I recently came across (thanks to the insistance of The Nut Case and Sparks). Pratchett, as far as I can see, promises a whole new world of satire for me to explore.