A Wholesome Meal

I love food. The love is so deeply rooted that I it is usually love at first smell. Yeah, usually, I fall in love everyday. Whoever once said, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" , was a very wise person. Each food item has its own rich, distinctive aroma that beckons and my sensitive nostrils are suckers for it. The absolute loser that my nose is follows the floating tendrils of fragrant spices and delicious whatnots, quite forgetting that it happens to be attached to me and dragging me along not unlike a Great Dane drags it's owner by the leash right into some very interesting shrubbery. Like I said, I like food. Nay, I love it. So much so that I can actually palate the hostel food. Truth be told, I relish the slop they muck up for us. They cook up some neat stuff. A little bit of everything is what we get. A well-rounded meal. Well, we don't get anything by way of an aperitif. But, everything else is there for us to eat. "Waitaminute! What about the light entertainment?", you ask. "I bet you don't get any live jazz bands playing in the background", you quip, quite pleased at finding a loophole in my hallelujahs to a place you think is aptly named "The Mess". Let me burst your comfy, cozy, soapy, dream bubble. It so happens, we do get entertainment. Let me tell you, none of it is ever preplanned. We don't get Marvin Berry or Kenny G. What we do get is stand-up comedy! The best jokes are never planned. I can vouch for that statement. I can get a "I second that!", from from my friend Mr. Husband (who claims he's a comedian himself. I have my doubts. I think most of the laughs he gets are directed at him and not at his jokes (Though I'm glad he isn't a Lavendor). Coming back to the entertainment part, let me give you an example: Today, at dinner, my friends (Six, Kissyboy & Orgasmo - who gets his alias from a Trey Parker & Matt Stone parody on the American adult film industry of the same name) and I sat at a table with two guys (who I later found out were doing their first year law course). Those two cases were typical specimens of the murderous mutant species I described in detail in my last but one post. I couldn't but help overhearing their conversation. It was about girls in general and girlfriends in particular (How very typical. A guy's topical.). Now, these guys were the kind that couldn't just look at a girl, they had to leer or stare or both (and I'm sure it wouldn't be the face they would stare at). They didn't appreciate beauty (I'm a connoiseur myself), they were more like those weighing machines you find at railway stations- flashy and making you conscious about your ample figure. The ampler, the better; or like Revenue Inspectors - always monitoring your assets. Take my word for it, this description of them has been toned down so as to not offend female readers. When I said those two perverts were talking about girlfriends, I don't mean they had any. They were wondering why they didn't have any. I could have told them a thing or two, but prudently, I didn't. They proceeded to discuss, in horrble english, whom they would like to have a relationship with. A number of names came up (I feel so sorry for those poor girls). Ultimately, I couldn't take it any longer. They weren't being respectful to two things at the top of my "respect list" , girls and english. I invited my friends to shoot me but they conviniently forgot to obtain guns in the first place (Six offered to tap me on the head with his nunchuks. An offer I refused on grounds that he wasn't very proficient with the damn sushi-eaters' weapon and would end up injuring himself. I wouldn't want him having all the fun of being unconscious while we were being subjected to the third-degree.). So I had to endure them and their half-formed, wrongly phrased sentences for the rest of the meal (Which ended with them deciding to take drastic measures. They were actually planning to hand out flyers with their contact numbers on them stating that they were "Looking for Girlfriends".). Not the best entertainment. Not for me anyway. My friends found it hilarious. Maybe I was too bugged about them being disrespectful that I didn't manage to see the funny side of the whole situation.